Conventional Murders Read online

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  “Now, we’ve only got a few minutes,” Dave said as they sat down in the main auditorium. It was indeed a large room. It appeared there was seating for 200, as Dave had said, but the room could have easily sat another 200 people, especially since the upper level wasn’t in use. The stage jutted out into the room and was well lit by the bright lighting.

  Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.

  Dave continued, “here’s how it works: this is the fourth and final round. There will be seven contestants that have won their contests in round three.”

  “Wow! How many people start off in round one?”

  “Well, let’s see. There are 140 clubs, and assuming 4 contestants per club, that’s what… roughly 500?”

  “560, actually. How many members are there in total?”

  “Currently? A little less than 7000 at the moment.”

  "Holy smoke! I had no idea! If there are so many people involved, then why have I never heard of this before? How long does each contestant get?”

  “Five to seven minutes.”

  Seven minutes? Up there on the stage in front of everybody? Better them than me.

  “Do you think it’s going to be a good contest today?”

  “I don’t know, to be honest. I’ve seen a couple of the contestants before, but not all. But in my experience, humorous speeches can be very hit-and-miss. What is funny to one person won’t necessarily be funny to another. Sometimes the delivery just falls flat. And sometimes the audience just doesn’t respond. That’s my personal pet peeve: when they ‘laugh on the inside.’”

  Laura considered this for a moment: how horrible it would be to stand up there, deliver your best joke, and hear nothing but thundering silence in return.

  The only way you’re ever getting me up there is at gunpoint.

  “Wow. Well, how brave of them all!”

  “Indeed. Okay, the contest chairperson is on stage. It looks like they’re getting started now.”